I am prone to self destruction due to implosion. I am fantastic at building a great big beautiful life that outwardly screams of awesome until I reach a point where my toes are dangling over the edge of the cliff.
Then comes a little push. A nudge, really–just enough to upset the delicate balance I worked so hard to create. It all came crashing down–it feels like every area of my life imploded a little bit, leaving me in the dark place, bewildered at which mess to clean up first.
My dark place is small potatoes compared to many in the world, and I don’t wish to detract from the very real pain of others. But all potatoes matter. This has been the hardest few months I’ve had in a long time, and I finally feel like I can pull myself out of it, for better or for worse (the worse, of course meaning that I’ve put on the 5 lbs. that melted off when I was too stressed out to sleep or eat. The better–everything else.)
So what is the point of starting this blog?
I don’t want to waste the opportunity to record this journey. I don’t know why I feels so different this time. I’ve been to the dark place many times, but I can see the light up ahead.
Here we go.